I Got a Man-Crush on Jack Bauer!

64

By imadork

My Favorite Number!
My Favorite Number!

Monday Night Date

It's Monday night. I feel a warmth stirring up from deep within. It permeates through my entire body like a fresh heroin bump. I hastily rush through my chores, for I have a date tonight and my full attention I must devote.

I dash to the couch, my ass barely touching the cushion before I grasp the TV remote control. My fingers skillfully punching in the digits that summon forth Fox on my widescreen HD television. Like a seasoned court stenographer, my fingers flow through the numbers of the remote and then, without pause, to the volume button. I hold my thumb down until the audio is at a theatrical level.

My Bose Surround Sound System thunders to life, pounding out the ticking of the digital clock that calls out the alarm...24 is on!!!

Oh...those eyes and that steely stare!
Oh...those eyes and that steely stare!

The Power of Bauer

If you have not been watching the show 24, then you don't know Jack! If you have been watching then you know the excitement I am talking about. I ask my fellow fans this...

Is 24 the best show on TV today or the greatest show in the history of mankind?

I vote for the latter.

Each week, 24 puts me through the ringer with another pulse-pounding hour of action and edge-of-your-seat suspense, always ending in a cliff-hanger that drives me crazy. I count the minutes to the next episode, all the time thinking...How is Jack going to get out of this weeks bind?

  1. A quick snap of the enemy's neck?
  2. A knife slash to their throat?
  3. Rip their heart out with his bare hands?

The anticipation kills me but I wait, knowing that I will not be disappointed when the wait is over and it's Monday night again.

Watch out you scheming terrorists...Jack is coming for you!!!

He looks soooo cool in this picture!
He looks soooo cool in this picture!
24: Seasons 1-6
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24: The Ultimate Guide
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24: The Official CTU Operations Manual
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24 CTU Undercover Game
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24 DVD Board Game
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24 The Game
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Montage of Every Jack Kill

Jack Bauer Satchel Kit
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McFarlane: Boxed Set - "24" Jack Bauer
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Comments

Nicole Winter profile image

Nicole Winter Level 3 Commenter 3 years ago

This is freakin' hilarious, man, thanks for publishing it and letting us share a little in your Monday night pleasure.

imadork profile image

imadork Hub Author 3 years ago

Thanks Nicole. I just thought I would let the world know my man-crush!

goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 3 years ago

Dork, You got issues, but I dig them. good hub even if I don't watch the show. If I don't watch it from the beginning, I never watch even when it makes it out on DVD. I got like four shows, Dexter, Californication, the Office, My Name is Earl. So it look like I got two channels and shows that are consecutive. Yeah, I lost control of the TV awhile back, so I'm screwed on watching anything else.

blowballs 3 years ago

He's one tough bastard. I heard he once shot Helen Keller in the knee to make her talk. (Good Blog man!)

snowballs 3 years ago

Oh.....and by the way, your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation. I think if Jack was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 3 years ago

Blowballs and snowballs huh? lost twins I guess.

Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 3 years ago

I love the picture that says, "Jack Bauer makes Chuck Norris cry." ROFL!

I've never seen 24, but I'm sure it's good if Kiefer's in it. Both of those Sutherland men are awesome actors. I'll have to make a point of trying to catch an episode of it.

imadork profile image

imadork Hub Author 3 years ago

GT:  I love all the other shows you listed with the exception of Earl.  I used to watch that one until Earl went to jail.  It got dumb after that and haven't watched it since.  Well done on the reference to my twin hub!

Blow/Snowballs: Thanks for the compliment.  If Jack was gay I'd still hang out with him.  I wouldn't do anything; just hang out watching tv...maybe with our shirts off, like a couple of bros having a good time. 

Pam: 24 is like Lays potato chips...you can't have just one! 

rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe Level 2 Commenter 3 years ago

um, i hope you and Keifer are very happy together, Scott.

Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly Level 2 Commenter 3 years ago

I can design the wedding invites. Were you like crying when he went to jail? Not that I'm putting him down. I like him, and have always been a fan of Donald.

sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 3 years ago

I have watched a few episodes of 24 but have never managed to get into that one. I like Prison Break, Gray's Anatomy, Burn Notice and of course crazy, bloody Dexter. Californication is another one I can seem to relate to.

Thanks for sharing.

MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 3 years ago

ALRIGHtY THEN! I guess I'll have to see what your all excited about... Who knows? Maybe we have the same taste in men! LMFAO

imadork profile image

imadork Hub Author 3 years ago

You must watch! He's sooooooo hot...um, I mean cool.

MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 3 years ago

LMFAO!!!!!

blondepoet profile image

blondepoet Level 3 Commenter 3 years ago

He is hotter than the butter melting down my corn of cob, hotter than a piece of Hans streaky bacon on a skillet. .He has those come to bed eyes. imadork can we share the love around here haha

Midnight Rambler 2 years ago

Cool site!! Could do without the "man crush part" but whatever...Jack is "Back in Black" and sure to kick some ass!!

Marci Leigh profile image

Marci Leigh 2 years ago

I hear you! Monday is my favorite night of the week! How sad that we will be experiencing the silent clock for the series in May.

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